A young lady I know is studying for her driver’s test. It can be a stressful experience. Being the good fellow I am, I decided to help her with a few questions. Enjoy!
1. You get caught in a traffic jam. Do you:
[a] Wait for it to disperse slowly, or
[b] Honk your horn like a Canada goose.
2. You see a group of school students crossing the sidewalk but you’re in a hurry. Do you:
[a] Slow down, stop and wait patiently, or
[b] Put the pedal to the metal to give the kids an early start on their gym class.
3. You go the post office but the only parking stall available is handicapped stall. Do you:
[a] Look for another spot and leave the stall empty for the less fortunate, or
[b] Whip right in and park, and then fake an injury.
4. You’re late in dropping the kids off for school but the windshield is frosted over. Do you:
[a] Phone the school to inform them you’re running late, or
[b] Stick your head out the window, keep one hand on the wheel to steer, and get one of the kids to push the gas pedal.
5. You get confused during the driver’s road test while driving a standard. Do you:
[a] Slowly shift the gears and secretly try to bluff your way through the commands, or
[b] Tell the instructor that “P” is for pass and “R” is for race.
6. You come to a four-way stop and are not sure what to do. Do you:
[a] Stop and wave the other driver through to show you’re a nice guy, or
[b] Gun the engine, flash your lights, and whip right through the intersection.
7. You start your roadside test but forget to buckle up because you’re nervous. Your instructor points this out to you. Do you:
[a] Apologize and tell him you were trying to catch your breath, or
[b] Tell him that seatbelts are only for sissies.
8. While parking, you forget to put on the parking brake and start rolling down the hill toward some elderly people. Do you:
[a] Turn the wheels and drive onto the lawn nearby, or
[b] Close your eyes and pray the wheels on the seniors’ walkers don’t fall off.
9. You jump into the car for your roadside test but discover you left your glasses inside. You don’t want to give the instructor the impression this happens frequently. Do you:
[a] Proceed even more carefully and slowly as the instructor will allow.
[b] Tell him all that squinting is from the after shave he’s wearing and it’s making you sick.
10. You come to a traffic circle and have no idea what to do. Do you:
[a] Get behind the first vehicle and follow it out, or
[b] Pretend you’re drunk so other drivers give you the right-of-way.
I have no doubt these questions will help the young lady pass her exam. I wish her the best of luck.
Just for the record – this is so embarrassing! – I admit I failed my learner’s on my first try!